Some days I wait for winter from behind a window in a room with little light. Sometimes I wish for darkness in the morning when the summer sun cuts sharply through the room to cast the dust upon my walls in high relief. Somehow the smell of flowers lingers acrid in my nose, but when it rains I breathe the petrichor like sweet bouquets of gray and let the icy water soaking in relieve the biting thirst. Some evenings when the sun is golden through the trees I hunger for the moonlight blue as ghosts so that the shadows aren’t so hard to find. Sometimes I lie awake and wait for nightmares to erase the memory of dreams I once had wished were true, and when I find my laughter trying and my smile a bit oppressive I remember all the nights awake when sleep itself was distant and the darkness kept its silent pact to disregard with me the warmer days.

#amsterdam #netherlands

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