I’m very near that critical moment in a dream, when lucidity allows me to control the narrative, but the setting grows increasingly transparent and reality begins to leach slowly in, that moment when a sound outside the window in the morning breaks through sleep and permutates and brings with it traces of the world from which I’ve been removed.

Waking seems so sharp and immanent, and I can hear the day approaching and my grip on the illusion growing tenuous, and while it’s still intact I take advantage of my agency but everything I do just pulls apart the fabric, letting in the colder air.

I’m very near that moment when my eyes abruptly open and the shock of separation from unreality puts worry in my chest that reeks of drawn conclusions and well-thought-out responses, that moment when the water hits and steals my breath and I can’t imagine that I’ll ever breathe again. But I always do. And knowing that I regain my senses every time, that I cope with losing dreams so well that when they’re over I’ve no recollection of them but the instant when they overlap with what I can’t control, knowing that I can’t help but disregard them is perhaps saddest thing I’ll have to tell.

#melbourne #australia

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s